fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
