Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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