just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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