I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My penis needs a shock collar
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
