Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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