Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
