ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
