Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
