I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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