Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
