There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This toilet bowl is my home.
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