The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize