Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
