How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
