i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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