My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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