His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize