she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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