Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
