Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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