You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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