That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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