I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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