apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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