I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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