is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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