I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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