I understand Curling. That high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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