You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
