I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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