She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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