I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize