A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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