Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
