No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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