Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
