i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
