I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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