is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
