Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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