God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
