Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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