So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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