Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
