Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
