I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize