why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
