whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
