She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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