i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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