Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
