you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
