Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
