Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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