Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
