return my video game
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
