literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
