She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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