Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
