i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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